


some of us are looking at the stars

by DrowningInStarlight



Series: Tales From the Naughty Admiral [2]
Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Burlesque Club, Angst, Burlesque, Families of Choice, Family Issues, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-12
Updated: 2019-07-12
Packaged: 2020-06-27 01:48:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19780741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrowningInStarlight/pseuds/DrowningInStarlight
Summary: Three weeks after opening night, the Racketts track down their missing person, Azu gets a kiss, and Zolf receives an unwanted gift. Welcome to life at the Naughty Admiral.





	some of us are looking at the stars

**Author's Note:**

> continuing shoutout to the rqdbfc for being endlessly encouraging! ily all! 
> 
> title is an oscar wilde quote, because I have to counter the cursedness of "the naughty admiral" somehow.

The Naughty Admiral had been open for three weeks when Sasha's family came to take her home. 

Zolf didn't know how they found her. She hardly ever used Rackett any more, stayed out of photos, faded into the shadows at every opportunity. Yet still, somehow, the Racketts tracked her down. 

The first Zolf knew of it was Azu knocking on the door of his office. He'd been praying, almost angrily, over his dolphin pendant-- his relationship with his god had taken a knock after the accident that had resulted in the loss of his leg. He was slowly starting to rebuild it, but his prayers had a tendency to turn into rants that he wasn't sure they'd ever lose. He jumped when Azu knocked on the open door, shoving his pendant back under his shirt, a bit embarrassed. He didn't know why, he knew Azu prayed to Aphrodite and was more likely to understand than most. 

But his embarrassment abruptly took a back seat when he caught sight of Azu's face.

"Sorry to interrupt you," she said, "But this is really important. Zolf, there's someone downstairs asking for Sasha." 

If Azu's expression hadn't been enough to put Zolf on his guard, this was. There were very few people who'd ask for Sasha for the good of her health, and most of them worked at the Naughty Admiral. "Not Mr Gusset, then, I take it?" 

"No," Azu said grimly. "Definitely not."

"You didn't--" 

"Of course not. I told him I didn't know if we had anyone by that name working here. He wouldn't leave, though, said he had to deliver a message, from... from Barrett."

"Oh, _shit._ " 

"Exactly. Do you know where she is? We _cannot_ let them hurt her, Zolf." 

"I know," Zolf said. He couldn't shake the image of Sasha as he'd first met her-- reckless with anger, too scared to scream, inclined to attacking if you touched her unawares. He really wasn't kidding when he said he wanted to drown the Racketts. "I think she went on lunch break with Grizzop, I don't know when they'll be back." 

"Then let's deal with this now," Azu said. He could see his own anger reflected in her eyes, her fists clenching and unclenching by her side. Azu was gentle and loving, but you'd have to be stupid to underestimate her. Zolf was just hoping that whoever Barrett had sent to intimidate Sasha was smart enough to not pick a fight. If not, well... There were plenty of buckets in the cleaning cupboard. 

___

Hamid almost didn't notice the man sitting in a shadowy corner of the auditorium. To be fair, the man was very still, and Hamid's thoughts were elsewhere-- he was vaguely planning a new routine, humming under his breath as he daydreamed on his way to get lunch. It was only when the man stepped out of the shadows that Hamid saw him. Plain, dark clothes, practical like Sasha's. Hamid had worked in queer burlesque long enough to be good at spotting when some asshole was squaring up for a fight, and right now every single one of his instincts was telling him to get out of there, to find a public space where there'd be witnesses, at least. 

But this wasn't some dark street or rowdy pub. It was the Naughty Admiral, the only place he'd ever danced that felt truly safe, where he could express himself without having to compromise his dignity or risk putting himself in danger. He had a goddamn right to not be afraid _here_ , of all places. This was his turf.

(And Hamid had never pretended to not be territorial as all fuck.) 

So, he tried not to squeak when he said "Hello? Can I help you?" 

The man just looked at him for a moment, then said "D'you know Sasha Rackett?" 

Oh, _fuck_. "Who's asking?" he said, voice turning sharp. A cold smile twitched over the man's face.

"I'm here to give her a message," he said. "From Barrett Rackett. I think you should let me see her. After all, it's a family matter."

"You're not her family," Hamid said, "You lot never did anything but hurt her! How could you come here and say something like _that_ \--" 

"Hamid, what's going on?" Zolf said, Azu with him. At the same moment the door opened and Sasha and Grizzop walked in, carrying lunch. 

There was a beat of silence as everyone stared at Sasha, who stared at the man standing casually in front of Hamid. 

The sandwich Sasha had been holding fell, followed by the cup. Coffee soaked into the carpet as she flew to place herself between the man and Hamid. 

She growled " _Get away from him_ ," and the man raised his eyebrows. 

"No welcome for an old friend, Sasha?" 

Sasha just glared, holding herself so tense she was almost vibrating. Grizzop shoved his food down behind him and went to stand at her side.

"Tell me what you want me to do," he said in a low voice, clearly intended for Sasha alone. "If you want him gone... Just tell me what you need." 

"I don't kn-- I thought I'd got _away_ \-- I--" 

"I think you need to leave," Azu said. " _Now._ " 

The man looked over at Azu and Zolf, and Hamid took the opportunity to go stand at Sasha's other side, and quietly gesture that he was going to take her hand. She didn't acknowledge him, face still twisted with anger, but she squeezed his hand tightly.

"What d'you want, Ashton?" she said to the man. "Or is this just Barrett's way of letting me know I'll never actually escape and it's just gonna be like this forever and when I just think I'm okay he's gonna show up _all over again_ \--"

"Tell her," Zolf said dangerously, "Or I'll kill you myself." 

"Bold words," the man said. "Alright. Got a message. From the boss himself. He wants you to come home. Got a job for you, he says. We taught you all the skills, after all, it would be selfish to not use them. He knows you'll do a favour for your old uncle."

Hamid could feel Sasha shaking, gripping his hand so tightly it almost hurt. Everyone was watching her, taking their cues from her reactions. Hamid knew that all she had to do was say the word, and they'd drive this man out. Sasha's gaze was distant, though, and Hamid wasn't sure if _she_ knew it, lost as she was in the reappearance of everything she'd been running from.

Finally, finally, she spoke. Her voice was hollow as she said "No. I'm not one of you." 

Grizzop made a questioning noise, and Sasha nodded. "Tell Barrett I'm never coming back," she said. 

"Now off you fuck," Grizzop said. He took a step towards the man and gave a menacing grin, showing all his teeth. "And if you ever come back here again, I'll fucking gut you, do you understand?" 

"Fine," the man said, eyeing Grizzop warily. He turned to leave, but he looked back to cast a calculated gaze over everyone else. "Got yourself fixed up pretty nice here then, huh Sasha? People who'll protect you and all?" 

There'd never been much colour in Sasha's face to begin with, but she went greyer than Hamid had ever seen her. "Don't-- get out-- get out, get _OUT!_ " 

The man let the door slam behind him, and Sasha swung wildly, wrenching her hand out of Hamid's. "Not again," she mumbled. "Not again, they can't-- not after they took Brock, not again--" 

"Hey, hey, Sasha," Zolf said, hurrying over to her. "We're okay, we're okay. All of them can go fuck themselves, and if they show up here again we'll deal with them. You're safe." 

"You don't have to speak to them," Azu added. "They're nothing to do with you. You're Sasha and we love you." 

"You don't understand," Sasha said, still in that panicky mumble that made Hamid panic too. "My-- those people, they're bad, like, _really_ bad. We're not safe. They'll, I dunno what, petrol bomb the building once there's no one here to stop them or grab one of you on your way home or-- I should've gone, I should've just gone. This place is supposed to be safe and it won't be as long as I'm here." 

"No, you shouldn't have," Hamid said, trying really hard to keep his voice from breaking. "You're more important, you know you are. You're _family_ , Sasha, we're going to look after you." 

"No matter what," Azu said softly. 

Sasha looked lost and confused, and Hamid hated that it was a surprise to her how much they cared about her. Hated the fact that she'd been taught not to expect love. 

"You're kinda my best friend," Grizzop said. "Course we're not going to let them make you do anything you don't want to." 

"This is your place as much as it is mine," Zolf said quietly. "I couldn't have done this without you. Any of this. Whatever shit Barrett pulls, we'll deal with it, okay?" 

No one was surprised when Hamid started to cry, but no one expected Sasha to cry too, her face crumpling like paper. Azu started the group hug, but no one pulled away. 

Hamid had lost track of how long he'd been standing there, crying into Zolf's shoulder, when someone knocked on the door. 

"Oh, what _now_?" Zolf said, grumpily disentangling himself and wrenching the door open. Hamid supposed there was a possibility that it would be Barrett's men, but if Zolf had thought of that he didn't seem to care. Hamid had to admit that he also wouldn't mind an opportunity to show the Racketts exactly what he thought of them. 

"Er... Delivery for Mr Smith, care of the Naughty Admiral?" the woman behind the door said, glancing past Zolf at the tearstained huggers. "Um, bad time?" 

"It's fine," Zolf snapped. The delivery woman shrugged and handed Zolf what appeared to be a magazine. 

"I was told you let you know," she said, "That it's from one Mr Oscar Wilde?" 

"Oh, for Poseidon's sake," Zolf said. "Thanks." 

The delivery woman left looking confused, and Zolf turned to the others. "I'll be in my office if you need me," he said, looking specifically at Sasha, awkwardly trying to pretend that she hadn't been crying, and Hamid, who was still unapologetically wiping his eyes. "Come and find me if anything happens. Anything at all." 

___

Dancing had always been an escape for Azu. When she was dancing, the world made sense in a way it never did otherwise. She loved burlesque, but really it could have been anything. She just loved to dance.

It wasn't only the prospect of dancing that had kept her at the Naughty Admiral, though. It was equally the people: Zolf, so gruffly caring, Grizzop, lively and energetic. Sasha, grinning at her from backstage.

And Hamid, of course, but she'd known him for a while anyway. They used to work together, at a club that was no way near as nice as Zolf's place. Hamid had been fired after his breakup with his boyfriend and girlfriend, and while Azu had never managed to prove that they'd convinced the owner to fire him, she'd always had her suspicions. She'd left soon after. 

(Hamid had been a wreck after Gideon and Liliana. Azu had never met them properly, although she'd seen them hanging around to pick Hamid up after work sometimes. She'd heard enough from Hamid, though, during the many nights she let him sleep on her sofa while he was looking for a new flat. They'd brought out the worst in him, and maybe in each other, too, that much was obvious. Sometimes she just wanted to scoop Hamid up in her arms and never let the world hurt him again.) 

Hamid and Azu had auditioned at the Naughty Admiral together, doing a joint routine they'd been working on for a while. Zolf had watched them carefully, giving them the same focused consideration that he gave everything, but afterwards he'd smiled.

"Sasha?" he'd asked, and a person stepped from the shadows with a nod. 

"I reckon they'll do, boss," she'd said, deadpan but unable to hide the glee in her eyes. 

"Hello," Hamid said. "Do you work here?" 

"'m Zolf's roommate," she explained. "You guys were well good. Best we've seen so far by a long shot." 

"Thank you!" Azu said, and Sasha looked up at her. 

"You could lift him," she gestured at Hamid, "Right over your head, do some acrobatics?" 

"Oh, we have!" Azu said, delighted. "Hamid's very light and the stage we used to work at had wires, so I could throw him in the air and he'd just _go_. That place wasn't... perfect, but that was a good act, right, Hamid?" 

Hamid smiled, and Azu didn't miss the way his eyes were lightly resting on Zolf. "Oh, I miss flying," he said. "My whole thing there was dragonfly themed, you see, and I had these lovely chiffon-y wings..." 

"You planning on keeping the dragonfly thing?" Zolf asked. 

"No... No, I think I'm done with that. I was thinking I'd go with a full dragon aesthetic this time. After all," he shot Zolf a playful glance, "Gold eyeliner suits me." 

"I reckon we could rig a set of wires sometime," Sasha said. "Or, _oh_ , something with fire? Zolf, we could do fire." She'd pushed her fringe out of her eyes and stared directly at Azu. Her eyes were dark as ink. "We're gonna make you both look proper cool." 

"I'm looking forward to it," Azu had told her, and she'd meant it, genuinely.

Sasha had risen to every challenge the small stage and outdated equipment had presented her with. She'd never really told Azu about her family, but Azu had gathered enough to know that she was very glad that Sasha was here and not still with the Racketts. 

The events of the afternoon had only cemented that. Maybe everything had turned out okay, they'd rallied to protect Sasha and Barrett's messenger had gone, but Azu couldn't rid herself of the nervous energy, still wound tight. So she'd slipped away to the dressing room and the one thing that always made her feel better. 

It was a habit she shared with Hamid, and she grabbed the little speaker out of his bag. 

(Just looking at it reminded her of evenings they'd spent at her flat, dancing until they were out of breath, then collapsing on the sofa and singing along as loudly as they dared without getting a noise complaint.) 

She'd been dancing for a few minutes, eyes closed, just letting the music move her, before she noticed Sasha in the doorway.

When Sasha saw Azu looking, she nodded awkwardly. "Alright?" 

"You're asking me?" Azu said, a little breathless. "I'm okay, but what about you?" 

Sasha shrugged. "'M fine. Just, er, wondering if I could come sit in here or something? But if you're, y'know, busy, then I can just--" 

"No, no, you're more than welcome, Sasha," Azu said. "I just thought you'd go spend time with Zolf, that's all." 

Sasha gave a vaguely conspiratorial smile. "Think I'm gonna leave him to it," she said. 

Azu gave her a confused look. 

"Hamid went after him," Sasha clarified. " _And_ he just got something from Wilde, so he's probably gonna be pissed off. Or, y'know, sickeningly in love with Hamid, so. Yeah. I'll leave him to it."

"And you're not, I don't know, jealous, or anything? After all, Zolf's your friend." 

"Jealous? Nah. He deserves to be happy. And Hamid, he's alright. He should be happy too." 

Azu nodded thoughtfully. "Yeah. I think they've both been through a lot. Well, come in, sit down, whatever you like. I'm just messing about anyway." 

"Thanks, Azu," Sasha mumbled, and for a moment her face turned vulnerable again, and Azu wanted nothing more than to give her a hug. 

But Sasha didn't do hugs, and Azu respected that, so instead she just gave her a warm smile. "Do you mind if I..." she gestured at the speaker. 

"No, go for it, mate," Sasha said. "Just pretend I'm not here." 

"I'm not going to do that," Azu said, as she turned the music back up. "It's lovely that you're here." 

Sasha looked away, cheeks tinging with red. But Azu could see the ghost of a smile on her face. 

___

After Zolf and Azu had left, Hamid had taken two steps after Zolf, then hesitated. He glanced back at Sasha, and gave her a look that said _I'm going to go after Zolf but only if you don't mind me stealing your friend for a bit._

Sasha stared at him blankly. Grizzop, who'd apparently also caught the look, just looked confused. Hamid sighed. 

"I'm going to go after Zolf," he said, "But only if you don't mind me stealing your friend for a bit, Sasha." 

"You could have just said that instead of looking like you'd stubbed your toe," Grizzop said. "I don't know how you expected us to understand that." 

Hamid gave Grizzop another Look, and apparently he understood that one because he raised his eyebrows. Hamid pointedly waited for Sasha's answer instead of acknowledging him. 

"Go for it, mate," Sasha said, then added, a little hesitantly, "I think I'm gonna go see Azu, actually?" 

Hamid beamed at her. "I'm sure she'd love to see you." 

When they'd both hurried off, Grizzop shook his head and turned to pick up his lunch again. "This," he said to the world at large, "Is why I'm glad I'm aromantic." 

___

Zolf was sitting at his desk, staring at the magazine Wilde had sent, when Hamid knocked on the open door. 

"I don't know why Wilde's sent me this," Zolf said. "It's just the latest copy of his magazine?" 

"Have you opened it?" 

"No. And knowing Wilde I don't think I want too. That man is incapable of not being infuriating. Anyway, you, uh, doing okay?" 

Hamid lent against the edge of the desk. The sunlight always poured into this little attic room during the afternoon, and the light was catching the blue-green sea glass threaded into Zolf's hair. His face was so sincere. Hamid kind of wanted to kiss him. 

_Okay, Hamid_ , he told himself. _Get a grip._

"I'm okay," he said. "That was just really, really awful." 

"Yeah," Zolf said. "It was." 

"You don't sound shocked, though?"

Zolf's face turned grim. "When I first met Sasha, she was hiding from Barrett's men. It's always been a possibility that they'd find her again. I'm just glad she didn't have to deal with them alone."

"Me too," Hamid said. "Are you worried? About what Sasha said could happen." 

Zolf shrugged. "The Racketts don't get to threaten my family. They can try whatever shit they like to this place, and I'll deal with them. But..." he hesitated a little. "I'm not trying to suggest that either of you are incapable, but make sure you and Azu go home together tonight? I don't know what I'd do if you got hurt." He broke off, looking up at Hamid with earnest eyes. 

Despite the worry, Hamid felt a warmth that wasn't just the sunlight. "Okay," he said. "I can do that." 

(Hamid looked like he was glowing, the sunshine turning his eyes a deep, rich gold. He was leaning against Zolf's desk so casually, like he always meant to be here, at Zolf's side. Zolf kind of wanted to kiss him. But Hamid deserved someone as radiant as he was. And that could never be Zolf.) 

"Thank you," Zolf said, looking away with a cough. "Right, okay, I'd better see what Wilde wants..." he opened the magazine. As he did, a piece of paper fell out, and Hamid caught it. 

"Check page six," he read. "You're welcome, by the way. Wilde. PS: how cute, Mr Smith!"

Zolf huffed, but flipped to the page. At the top of the page was a heading that read in a bold font _Another Fish In The Sea: Welcome To The Naughty Admiral._

It wasn't the article, detailing their opening night and their future plans, that caught Hamid's eye, though. It was the picture below it, of Zolf lit softly by the colourful midshow lighting, his chin on his hand, staring up at something out of frame. He looked desperately, wistfully fond. 

(There was only ever one reason he looked like that-- Hamid, he'd been watching Hamid, and Wilde knew it. Gods, he was going to kill Wilde.) 

"Aw, that's actually kind of sweet--" Hamid began, before Zolf snatched the magazine and stomped towards the door. 

"I," he declared loudly, "Am going to kill Oscar Wilde." 

____ 

Sasha had her feet up on the table beneath the mirror, tossing a knife with one hand. It was distracting, and Azu had kept losing her place in the story she was trying to tell, but Sasha hadn't seemed to mind. The conversation had lulled for a moment when Sasha swung her legs off the table, getting up and sliding her knife back in her pocket in one smooth motion. 

"You okay?" Azu asked. 

"Yeah," Sasha said, "I'm good, I, uh, was just wondering if I could... kiss you?" 

_Oh._ "I'd like that very much," Azu told her. 

"Okay!" Sasha said, high pitched, and Azu laughed softly. 

"It's okay," she said. "Take your time." 

"It's not that-- I want to kiss you," Sasha said. "Like, kinda a lot? It's just I didn't think you'd say yes, is all. And now you have so it's like, okay, this is actually a thing that could happen now? And even though you saw what my family are like and you still-- oh, fuck it--" She leant in and kissed Azu. 

After a few moments, Azu put her hands on Sasha's waist. "Is this okay?" she asked. 

"Yeah," Sasha said. "It's kind of very okay, actually." 

"I'm glad." 

Sasha looked like she was about to kiss her again when they heard a shout from outside. 

"No, I've had it! I'm going to kill Wilde!" Zolf's voice echoed. 

"Is he alright?" Azu asked. 

Sasha smiled wryly. "He does this like every week?" she said. "At least. He'll be fine." 

"Well," Azu said. "That's good. May I kiss you again?" 

"Yeah," Sasha said. "Yeah, you can."

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr @drowninginstarlights!


End file.
